Chef John Malik

a writer in a cook's body

Dear God,


It’s been six months and you know how your people love milestones and I guess I’m no different.  So I’m writing to say thank you.  I know I promised I was going to do some things better but I don’t feel like I’ve followed through.  I promise I’m trying.  I apologize for not coming to terms with this.  I’m incredibly grateful and honestly I’m still very embarrassed.  I’m humbled by the attention, but when I’m in Church it feels more like guilt and I occasionally feel like crawling under the pew; especially when I look up at that enormous stained glass window and I see your Son with his arms wide open.  That’s when I really feel humbled and I still get tears in my eyes.  Wasn’t there someone more deserving of your attention?  In the last 6 months a couple of my friends have passed away and they were much more successful than me.   They were probably better parents too.   How come they had to leave and I was asked to stay?  My apologies; I really shouldn’t try to put you on the spot like that.  I am thankful, I really am.

When I understood what you had done for me I was certain it was because you wanted me to do something important.  I thought that one day you would reveal this mission to me.  I envisioned an enormous steamer trunk in the middle of a pasture, bathed in sunlight and me finding this trunk then opening it to a blast of heavenly trumpets.  I know, I’m being melodramatic but there must be a reason for the attention, correct?  Surely you saved me in order that I may complete some incredible task.  So I’m waiting for you to show me what that something may be.   In the meantime, I’m facing life one day at a time.  I may not be able to resume cooking, my knee isn’t quite there yet and in the interviews it’s been a challenge trying to explain that 18 month absence.  So I may end up doing something else with my life.  For a couple of months I was pretty broken up about that but I think I’m OK with it now.   A few weeks ago I thought I would do something to celebrate this milestone; take a long bike ride with some friends, try to go on a short hike or a picnic or maybe just have some friends over.  Well my son has a football game on Saturday and I ended up in a play (a musical at that) and there’s a lot of rehearsals to do so that’s going to take up my weekend.

So again, thank you very much.  My family is thankful too and they’re happy with the way things turned out.  I hope you hear our prayers of thanks.  Sometimes when my wife is holding my hand she’ll squeeze it a little and smile and I know what she’s thinking.  So if I can ever do anything for you, whether it’s something small or something really spectacular, please just ask.  I owe you one.



Author: ChefJohn

Cook without tattoo, writer without a pen


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