Chef John Malik

a writer in a cook's body

Random Facts


As requested by my friend and fellow author, KJ Waters.


I’ve had one ambulance ride and they didn’t even turn on the lights or sirens.

I can remember pulling a chair up to the kitchen counter to help Mom cook.

If there’s nasty weather (tornado watch/warning) in the evening’s forecast, I’ll go to bed with a nice pair of clothes handy.  In case the house gets destroyed and I end up on TV at two am, at least I’ll look good.

I’ve gone 55 miles an hour on a bicycle, on a flat road.

Although I took up cycling in the late ‘80s, I never cared for Lance Armstrong.

As a Boy Scout, I learned how to cook cat’s tails, acorns and elderberries.

I applied for the Executive Chef’s position at the White House right after Bill Clinton got in office.

I often consider running for office on a county or city level.

As a kid, I threw up in the White House, while on a guided tour.

My wife often jokes about a pill that would lower my testosterone.

I learned how to waltz when I was a senior in high school.

At a Brian Setzer concert I got up and danced with an elderly woman (a resident of the retirement community I worked for) when Setzer’s orchestra launched into Jump, Jive and Wail.  Security had to ask us three times to sit down; “You kids get back in your seats!”

My wife still gives me goose bumps.

Author: ChefJohn

Cook without tattoo, writer without a pen


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